Identity

I think for the last few years I have been struggling with an identity crisis. Well, struggling is the wrong word and also crisis is the wrong word but you get the picture.

Who am I?

Like who am I in myself, who am I without the other people around me, who seem to define me at the moment?

Who am I if I am not

- Siku's sister
- Luke's wife
- Someone's colleague

.. that’s who I am in England.

Back in Estonia I used to be

- Indrek's daughter in churches
- Lauri's sister in the music college
- Lehari's assistant

Who is around who sees me for me, not someone who comes as a side order to a delicious main course?

Why do I care?

What do I want from life? Where do I think I will end up? Will I be happy there? I am content now because that is what I'm like when nothing in my life is wrong, nothing is bad... but surely there is meant to be more to it, more to me? Is there more? What is it? How do I get it?

What do I do?

Well, there is this promise.. He declares that He knows the plans He has for me, which are to prosper me and not to harm me and give me hope and a future. And He knows my name and He knows my deepest hopes and dreams, ones I don't even know yet.

So, I guess up and away I go, in this promise that everything will continue to be OK. There is a plan and I am walking in it, even if I don't know who I am, where I am or where I'm going.. easy peasy right?